Son is Having a Really Bad Day


I don’t know what set him off exactly, but he turned to his uncle for support and instead got the ‘put on your big boy pants’ lecture.  He’s still seething.  If anyone who was not in a position to tell Son to get his ‘shit in one sock’, it’s his uncle.  I’ve known Uncle for 35 years and he’s probably worked 2 of those.  He’s one of those Vets who decided the world owed him a better job than starting at the bottom and had problems taking direction.  Always knew better than the boss and had no problem telling him.  He drove a truck in Vietnam and ever after considered himself a long-haul trucker.  He did go to truck driver school – twice.  The first school kicked him out apparently for having a minor accident.  The second one he was dismissed for sexual harassment.  His total drive time between the two schools: one week.  Son has been rampaging ever since talking with his uncle.  For the last time.  Uncle has burned his last bridge with the family.  Son was the only one who still was in contact with him since Aunt died last month.

I’m so upset at my son’s position I can hardly type. He’s having a terrible Fibromyalgia flare and in a lot of pain.  He can’t get anything for it from an urgent care or emergency room since it’s easy to say ‘I have fibromyalgia’ if you’re just seeking pain meds.  Plus he has a history of misusing prescriptions.  Not that the ER knows that, but the last time he was there for an  awful migraine, he got no help at all.  They just basically held him for 5 hours without treating him with anything stronger than prescription Tylenol.  The hospital has him labeled as a drug seeker.  If he just wanted the drugs he knows how to get them.  It’s not difficult.  What he wants is an end to his pain, legally, and medically.  He wants someone (other than his dad and me) to believe he is in real pain and that his total fatigue is real.

Right now he’s calling some sort of fibro support system and not getting the help he feels he needs.  He needs a chronic pain support group to meet with.  Meet with other chronic pain sufferers, so he doesn’t feel as alone.  I’m trying not to help him in his search, hoping he is motivated enough to handle this on his own.  It’s been a real battle to remain supportive through his constant griping.  I know he has reason to be upset, but every time he comes out of his room it is non-stop!

Just when everything was coming together with Husband’s retirement and our move.  I had such a great meeting with my therapist last week and she was very pleased at how I’ve been doing and how much change she has seen just in the last three months.  At least I am not completely falling apart.  🙂  At least I know things will improve, even if Son can’t see it right now.

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11 thoughts on “Son is Having a Really Bad Day

  1. My tendency is also to ‘help make everything okay’ mentality… at least I used to but I really do refrain from those thoughts now… as it plain wore me out when I did…. I hope he perseveres and finds the help he needs…. and YOU …. take care and just focus on what you need to right now… Diane

  2. tell son the more stressed and uptight he is/gets the worse the pain, as a ten year fibro person I know when it gets bad it is really bad but the more I dwell on the pain….
    does he have a regular dr? he has to learn and find solutions on his own so kudos to you for insisting he do so.

    • We did a lot of talking all day today, and a good share of last night. I have been telling him he needs to conquer the pain instead of allowing it to control him. I think he’s starting to get it. He’s actually talking about playing his guitar and singing again when we move. I’m so excited to hear him say that! I will try to encourage him!

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