And today was one of them. I didn’t get out of bed until 3:00. It’s 3:30 and I’m ready to go back.
I had one thing to do today; return a call to my bank. It drives me nuts. They send me a letter and some forms. I return them. They call again. Only leaving a name and number. The keep calling my cell phone. Never once have they tried to contact me by any other number. I return the call and no one knows why I’m calling. I sent you the papers why did you send me the exact same package a second time? No one knows. I get another call, on my cellphone. I call back today. Again no one has any idea what is going on. They say they need my social security number. You already have that form, I sent all the papers back. If you have some of the docs you obviously have all of them. Well we still need your social. I say fine I’ll tell it to you. No he can’t take it over the phone due to some privacy laws, please use the second copy you have and return it. I just lost it. I blew up at the poor guy. I’m so glad to be working with _______ Bank, I feel so confident in your ability to help me save my house. I’ll send you the fucking paper. Next time you call with your mysterious messages call me at this number ___ ____! And I hung up. I filled out the stupid form again, and will mail it back. I also enclosed a note asking them to please call me at home. But I have to leave the house to mail it. It’s Fed Ex and I have to drive down to the local Kinkos to send it off. Very convenient.
The endless paper work is draining me. I’m continuously filling out forms and calling various federal and state agencies. This stuff was routine work for me for years. I just can’t seem able to handle it. I’m falling to pieces for no stupid reason–just paperwork and red tape. That’s why I lost it with the bank.
I stayed in bed because I couldn’t face Mom. Bless her heart, but I dont want to go in there and have to make small talk about whether or not the dog took a crap, or that she talked to S2 and he said, blah blah blah. If I was interested in what S2 had to say, I would talk to him myself.
Today I feel I’m a terrible person. Self centered and off balance. Totally self absorbed. I don’t want to be close to any one any more. I want to go away by myself with no one to take care of beside myself. Not that I’m not taken care of, my family tries, but I’m impossible to please. Instead of growing into a better person, I’m turning into some psycho.
I know these feelings will pass, but for today I want to stay in bed and dream about Southern Spain.