Aside from the searing pain running through my hands and the cobwebby feeling on my arms, today has been pretty uneventful and dull. H isn’t home yet, and S and GS are arguing; as they do every Friday.
I think it’s because on Fridays GS goes to his mom’s for the weekend. It seems to stress him out, though he loves to see his mom. She has different rules and lets him get away with too much. Also he’s been hanging around with his older cousin who argues with his mom. Cousin has a lot of attitude and has been brought home twice by the cops, and was suspended on the first day of school. I fear he is really on a bad road and he’s been staying with auntie because his mom is so mad about the suspension.
It’s so bad when you realize too late that the family you’re marrying into is insane and thrives on chaos. It’s really hard not to get dragged into their self destructive tornadoes.
I can’t believe it, their arguments are so similar every day that today it’s not hardly bothering me. It usually upsets me, especially lately as I decrease my antidepressants (I do cry at the drop of a hat). All in all it hasn’t been too bad. I think the decrease has set off this latest series of my ms symptoms.
I’m trying not to feel to upset or disappointed for Friday as usual with S pouting in the living room, and GS playing video games. S always wants GS to hang with him on Fridays and GS seems not to want to. I have to tell myself every day not to interfere in their arguments or discussions. As someone who yells at other peoples’ kids if i think it necessary, it’s hard to listen to them without just telling them both to shut it.
Today I went outside and enjoyed the yard for a bit. Played in the garden, watered some plants, added a little dirt to some planters. When I came in, they were done and in their separate corners. Nothing like togetherness.