It’s like all of a sudden Karma is working against me in favor of gravity. Not fair! I fell a few months ago, my left foot got stuck between rocks (I think). Last week I tripped going up the stairs. Landed on my face. Then again on Thursday at the grocery store parking lot. Same thing, my left foot got stuck and down I went. Lucky I wasn’t hurt more than a grease spot on my jeans and a bruised elbow.
I mentioned the falls to my neurologist, who just happened to call me to set an appointment. I was supposed to see her a few months ago, apparently. She’s ordered another MRI. I get one nearly every year since my diagnosis with MS. Usually I’m not concerned, but this time I’m wondering if I’ve got new lesions on my brain or spinal cord.
Since MS likes things symmetrical, I’m wondering if I am developing a gait problem or my old childhood clumsiness is just coming back. I remember being rather klutzy as a young adult. Frequent tripping. I never thought about it until now, as possibly related to my MS.
My back has been in spasm all week. The meds help, but only temporarily. Today I am a delight to be near. All I want is to sit comfortably and read. I do less and less lately. And with all this falling and tripping I’m going to be forbidden to leave the house alone for fear of hurting myself with a fall down three flights of concrete parking structure stairs. I feel as if I am an 80-year-old lady learning she’s got to use the cane all the time.
I am starting this year to feel truly handicapped by all these little inconveniences. I was disappointed to hear my neurologist didn’t think steroids would help my hands. Perhaps if the MRI shows a flare she will change her mind.
I don’t know about all MS’ers, but most of us count the years since diagnosis. My years are labeled: Year One-The Year of Learning; Year Two-Coping with Flares; Year Three-Acceptance; Four-The Year of Pain; and Five-The Year of Disability.
Today I am not looking forward to Year Six-The Year of Falling.