I just read several blogs here, all of them very touching or funny. I love the sense of humor I find here. So today I come to my blog prepared to be funny, and my mind is a total blank. Maybe I should have had something other than a bowl for breakfast. Of course, everyone knows (I hope) that no one can be funny without some sort of straight man. My straight man is in a filing cabinet in my head that my MS refuses to let out. At least that’s how it feels. As my memory problems increased, my writing ability decreased, until by the time I retired, I had’nt written in more than 3 years.
I’m working at letting my imagination loose again, trying to pry open that drawer and the ideas will come flooding out, but my lack of stimulus concerns me. I’m in touch with a few bloggers, and email a couple other friends, and the occasional phone call. My only social contact outside of family has been little league ball games, and we don’t get into a lot of deep conversations between innings.
So, how do I go about adding stimulation to my life. I already took a walk and did my exercise. S is now taking a nap and I have control of the television. Nothing interests me. Why is it the one thing I might actually like to see is something that just ended or doesn’t come on for another two days.
I look outside to check the status of the bird feeder. Yup, full of squirrel again. Anything there? Some sort of story about squirrels in the bird feeder? Nope. It’s just a squirrel in the bird feeder stuffing his fat little ass full of someone else’s breakfast. Stupid squirrel. Get out of that feeder! All I have to do is open the door and he’ll be gone, but I’m curious how long he will stay there if I don’t chase him off.
OMG! This is what my life has become? Watching squirrels eat? Oh, good. The birds have come back to claim their share. Three male house sparrows, a pair of grosbeaks, a tit mouse and several song sparrows. There are junco and towhees on the ground flipping over rocks in search of treats. The goldfinches are boycotting until I get more niger seed.
I like knowing the names of the birds. I’m bummed that I can’t identify rocks and trees as easily, but I haven’t studied them the same way. I suppose I could pick up a new hobby identifying rocks in the area. It’s sort of interesting in my neighborhood with some volcanic rock, and lots of weird looking glassy rocks I can’t quite ID. Is is quartz? Some other crystal? Why do I even care??
That’s it, why do I care what a rock is called or which bird is that? My theory: we’re here mainly to learn all we can before we die. And pass on our knowledge to the next generation. That is what people were made for and we’ve been doing that for thousands of years. I’d just like to know all I can about my world, and its very useful to be able to tell someone the name of the bird that just shat on his shoulder.
I never know what I am going to write until I open my laptop. I’ll read some front page news, see which Kardashian just got married or divorced, or bought themselves a ticket to the moon, then I’ll check out blogs I read, and eventually I come to my own blog. I guess it’s just stream of consciousness type writing. If I put aside the lap top and pick up a pen would my results be different? Now to find a pen I can use and a blank pad of paper to experiment. I know you’ll be on pins and needles waiting for the results of my efforts. You may have to wait until Monday.